


When in Doubt, Kiss a Man

by cherrylng



Category: Coldplay (Band), Muse (Band)
Genre: Fake/Pretend Relationship, Fluff, Humor, Implied Sexual Content, Kissing, M/M, Mylo Xyloto era, Pancakes, Parent-Child Relationship, Post-Divorce, Single Parents, The 2nd Law Era, The Resistance Era
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-08-02
Updated: 2016-08-02
Packaged: 2018-07-28 21:31:55
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 8,146
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7657477
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/cherrylng/pseuds/cherrylng
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>At Lollapalooza 2011, Guy Berryman kisses Matt Bellamy out of the blue in a desperate attempt to get rid of a stalking Lindsay Lohan. It worked, but the consequence of his action led to the public to believe that he and Matt are dating. Luckily, Matt has a plan that can pull them out of this mess, and Guy agreed to it. After all, it's his fault that he put Matt into this mess with him. Matt, on the other hand, prefers to think that it’s Lindsay Lohan’s fault for putting them in a situation that they’re making the best out of.</p>
            </blockquote>





	When in Doubt, Kiss a Man

**Author's Note:**

> A week ago, I was told by a friend of mine on how this incident happened. Whether or not if it's as bad as it sounds, there's no denying that it happened and was more than enough to actually warrant attention. At the same time, I spotted that Muse was playing at the festival on the same date and year in the lineup as well. I couldn't resist myself to write this out. Enjoy and comment!

It’s not exactly Chris’ fault that this is happening to him, for in fairness, Chris gave the tickets to her because she asked for it politely. She could’ve asked anybody else who are playing in Lollapalooza for tickets as well and nobody would have predicted that this would happen. Her intentions were probably not even malicious at the start of the festival.  
   
That was what Guy wanted to think. Until now.  
   
It took a day for Guy to notice that she latched onto the band’s entourage the whole day, particularly towards him. A few times, he had successfully shaken her off and away from him. It doesn’t stop her from keeping her eye on him.  
   
Guy really can’t fault his best friend on giving Lindsay Lohan tickets to Lollapalooza. It’s the fact that Chris’ kindness inadvertently led to how he has the actress stalking him no matter where he goes.  
   
And she’s really getting bolder the more time passes.  
   
They’re still hours away from having to get on stage, but he can’t stand her any longer. Taking a walk out of their designated private area, the only place safe from her, was a horrible decision for him to take. It is safe, but he didn’t want to be cooped up in it until it’s time to play either.  
   
Luckily, a couple of his accompanying security guards are keeping her at bay from getting far too close to his own comfort. Yet for still being able to see her even at the corners of his eyes is leaving him discomfited.  
   
Mentally, Guy is getting desperate and seeking on ways to get her permanently out of his sight. He can think of several ideas that might just work, but there’s nothing around to be able to implement any of it.  
   
Then he spots someone walking around the trailers, and suddenly one of his crazy, desperate ideas came to mind.  
   
Being able to spot a familiar face and friend to do this is better than nothing.  
   
He ignores his guards and quickly walks towards the man, calling his name out.  
   
“Matt!”  
   
The singer turns towards where he is just before he grabs Matt by the shoulder to turn to face him. From the sounds of commotion behind him, most likely his guards and Lindsay Lohan catching up, he has a short window of time for this.  
   
“How much are you against me kissing you right here and now?” Guy asks first.  
   
“Pardon?” Matt looks at him as though he’d gone mad.  
   
One quick look from behind confirms Guy’s fears that she’s coming towards him, and without giving Matt a chance, he pulls him into a kiss.  
   
It’s a rush, close-mouthed kiss. The sudden move of shocked and froze Matt in his spot as Guy quickly wraps his arms around him to make it look just a tad bit more convincing.  
   
The loud commotion from behind fell into silence, more likely out of shock on what he’s doing.  
   
“Usually I don’t kiss until after the second or third date,” is the first thing that comes out of Matt’s lips when they pulled away for air.  
   
Ignoring what Matt said, and inwardly thankful that he isn’t angered by his actions, Guy speaks to him.  
   
“Look behind me,” Guy murmurs loud enough for Matt to hear him. “See that young woman with blonde hair, wearing a pink crop top, and might be staring at me?”  
   
Matt furrows his face at him, but he does take a look. He spots her a few meters away from where they’re standing, then recognition colours his face.  
   
“You mean her? Lindsay Lohan?” he asks. Guy whispers yes.  
   
“She’s been following me for almost the whole day now. I can’t get rid of her. Believe me, I’ve tried. I need help,” Guy pleads. He hopes, desperately hopes, that Matt understands the dire situation that he is in.  
   
The message got across to Matt, and he gives Guy a small nod in understanding.  
   
“Alright. Grab my ass or lower back. Put more effort into the kiss,” Matt instructs him.  
   
“Wouldn’t that make her stare at us even more?”  
   
“It does, but it’ll also show her that you’re taken already. If that doesn’t get the message into her head then I don’t know what will,” Matt whispers. “Are you ready?”  
   
With a quick nod, Matt places his lips against his.  
   
Guy chooses to place his left hand against Matt’s lower back. Grabbing his bottom straight away would’ve made their appearance lewd rather than intimate. He can feel Matt arms, wrapped around his neck, keeping him locked to his lips.  
   
Matt surprises him further when he nips at his bottom lip to gain entry to his mouth. He hesitated for a second before giving in and felt Matt’s tongue touching his.  
   
The longer they kissed, the more did Guy found ease and comfort into making out with another man, which surprises him. His first time properly snogging with a guy and it doesn’t seem as bad as he’d thought.  
   
Eventually, they broke the kiss, panting and with a thin bridge of saliva between their lips.  
   
“Is she gone?” Guy asks.  
   
“Yeah. She took off after staring at us for some time,” Matt affirms it. He then adds, “You can let go of my ass now.”  
   
Embarrassed, Guy lets go of his hold on Matt. He hadn’t even noticed that his hand slipped downwards until it was pointed out.  
   
He can see his security guards nearby, looking around and keeping their eyes on everywhere except where he and Matt are standing at.  
   
“Guy?”  
   
“Yeah?”  
   
“You do realised that you could’ve told your manager to put a restraining order on her to keep her away from you, right?”  
   
Guy blanches. Matt was right. He could’ve done something that is doable and legal and doesn’t require him to kiss Matt out of the blue. He should’ve been more sensible. He fucked up here.  
   
“I wasn’t thinking of that when she stalked me around,” Guy admits lamely. “I’m really sorry for what I did to you.”  
   
“It’s no worries. You’re forgiven,” Matt says, accepting his sincere apology.  
   
“Still, I want to thank you for helping me, Matt. You pulled me out of a tight spot there.”  
   
“It’s the least I can do to help,” Matt shrugs. He then smirks. “Still, you owe me a meal for that kiss. I’ll have free time in San Francisco after playing in Kansas.”  
   
Guy grins and gives a nod to him. That can be arranged. He owes him anyway.  
  
 

 

\-----

   
Come the second day of Lollapalooza and the tour manager manages to get a ban on the actress from access to backstage or anywhere near the band, which finally allows Guy immense relief. He sends a text message to Matt to confirm that Lindsay is kept away from him and receives a happy face emoji in return.  
   
A few days later in San Francisco, Guy invites Matt for Italian and Matt gladly accepts it.  
   
It was after the meal that he paid for Matt did the both of them noticed that another problem came. Said problem manifested in the form of paparazzi and word of mouth passed around that they were both seen having dinner together in San Francisco.  
   
After a quick escape from the restaurant and back to the safety of their respective hotel rooms, it didn’t take long for Guy to find out why. Turns out that the effects of their act didn’t exactly ended with the festival or with Lindsay Lohan.  
   
So kissing and groping Matt’s arse in a public place may have been a bad idea, but that spur of the moment admittedly saved him from the stalking celebrity.  
   
In fairness, they did make the whole thing look convincing to Lindsay Lohan. Apparently it was also convincing enough to others as well to believe that he and Matt are a thing, and they want to find out more about it. Their dinner together in the West Coast sealed the proof.  
   
He jumped out of one shark’s jaw and into the waiting jaws of another shark, one that is a lot bigger and hungrier.  
   
Evidently, he and Matt need to have a talk to sort this problem out before it gets out of their control.  
  
 

 

\-----

   
When he finally arrived back to London, Guy gives a call to Matt to confirm that he’s in the city as well, and then to come and meet him in his flat.  
   
Around the evening, Matt arrives. When he answers the door, Matt enters in like a storm, quickly pulling bottles of red wine out of his bag. And… it leaves Guy confused and still holding the door open.  
   
Shrugging off the confusion and closing the door behind him, he speaks to Matt.  
   
“Hey Matt, listen. I--” Before he can utter an apology out, Matt stops him.  
   
“Sorry Guy, I need to ask you this first,” Matt says. “How much time have passed since we started dating? We need to put it within less than six months or so.”  
   
Guy blinks. “Matt, why are you asking me this?”  
   
“Two months? Three? Maybe two months is cutting it too close,” Matt frowns at a problem that Guy _still_ doesn’t understand.  
   
“Matt--”  
   
“Come on, Guy. You got to help me here,” Matt whines. “We need to find a certain balance here to sound like we’ve been together long enough to look serious, but not _too_ long to be noticed that we’ve obviously lied.”  
   
Guy sighs, suspecting that if he doesn’t answer Matt’s question, they’ll get to nowhere. “How does two and a half months sounds?”  
   
“That sounds perfect!” Matt exclaims, scribbling the answer into a paper.  
   
“Matt, why did you want me to give suggestions on how we sound like we have dated for some time?”  
   
“Oh! I set up a questionnaire so when people ask about us being together, we have some answers to go with it. It has twenty questions in it that we’ll have to fill it out,” Matt says, showing Guy said questionnaire that is in a file.  
   
“Didn’t you know what happened?” Guy looks at Matt incredulously.  
   
“Yeah, that’s why we’re going to fill out this questionnaire together. I even bought wine to pass the time while we figure this all out,” Matt grins. “Don’t worry about anything, I thought this all up while on the flight coming home. We need to hash things out and create some info that we can correlate to one another.”  
   
“Matt, we just snogged. That’s it,” Guy sighs, pinching the bridge of his nose. He’d thought that the singer would’ve wanted to save face and his reputation, but apparently Matt has a different idea. That suggestion to kiss and grope him should have thrown the bassist a hint that Matt is not as straight as he seems. “It doesn’t mean we’re actually dating. All we need to do is deny it and tell them that it’s a farce.”  
   
“That’s precisely the problem, Guy. We snogged.” Upon Guy’s raised eyebrow, he continues. “We did it so well that people are believing that it means that we’re dating. Which, by the way, does show you’re a great kisser.”  
   
Guy’s face flushes hearing that.  
   
“The other point of the problem is that we can’t deny what we did so early on. If we do that, they’ll go even crazier and then attempt to intrude into your personal life even more. Do you want that?”  
   
Guy grimaces at the thought of it. “God no.”  
   
“So, if they want to believe that we’re together, then we might as well just play along with it. We’ll pretend around for a few weeks or months until it all cools down, then we can just break it off and make a story of how it didn’t work out for either of us. Make it sound like it’s just a casual relationship that we’re in.”  
   
What Matt said warrants some thinking for Guy. Compared to what he wanted to do, Matt’s plan is more than obviously a long-termed method to reach their goal, yet its advantage is that it meant less unwanted attention. Sure, the tabloid media will still track him down and they have to do this for months, but it’ll be tolerable. He can still pick up Nico for school and continue his activities around with relative anonymity.  
   
Still, there’s one thing that’s bothering him right now.  
   
“Why are you doing this, Matt? It was my fault that I dragged you into this. You saved me back there in Chicago.”  
   
“Yeah, it was,” Matt nods. “But at the same time, I haven’t exactly saved you out of this whole mess yet. The least I can do is help you get out of it completely.”  
   
“You don’t have to,” Guy argues.  
   
“I _want_ to. We’re mates. I don’t leave a mate behind when shit happens, and so do you.”  
   
That shuts Guy up, and he spends his entire evening answering the questionnaire that Matt had created for their pretend relationship. For a twenty question list, it took awfully a lot of time to set things straight for what to expect and what to say.  
   
If Guy had known Matt a little longer, he would’ve recognised a certain mischievous glint in his eyes as they discuss what their relationship should look like in the eyes of the public.  
  
 

 

\-----

   
In the grand scheme of things, snogging Matt on Lollapalooza that day wasn’t the right choice to deal with a stalking celebrity as attested by the consequences of his choice in action.  
   
However, there’s no doubt that he picked the right _person_ to kiss and be able to deal with the craziness that comes after and come up with a plan.  
   
Turns out having a strong interest in conspiracy theories and preparing for natural or human made catastrophes meant that Matt is also effectively good at preparing and planning out the details of their ‘relationship.’  
   
It’s insane, but the plan is sound and Matt was right in that he’s still not out of the proverbial water from the sharks yet. Besides, they don’t have to act all sickeningly lovey-dovey all the time, just enough that it satisfies people’s curiosity and wouldn’t suspect anything otherwise.  
   
And so they keep it going.  
   
The questions that then come to him were expected and can be easily deflected with subtle answers. It was his bandmates and family demanding questions that makes it difficult to avoid it and thus he reluctantly gives the answers and explanations. After all, why didn’t he trust them and instead kept such a big secret away from them?  
   
To the surprise of the bassist, despite some errors here and there that would make the evidence of his alleged claims noticeable, they actually believed the bullshit that he told them. So, again, if it weren’t for Matt’s crazy preparedness and having to remind him the key facts of what their ‘relationship’ is like, the whole plan could’ve easily crumbled then and there.  
   
He didn’t have the heart to admit to his best friends or his family that it’s all a charade, that this all happened because he sought for a rather desperate move to get rid of a certain washed up actress.  
   
It’s even worse when his daughter Nico found out, asking him where his ‘boyfriend’ is when she came around one day and when can she meet him. He tried to avoid it, but her eagerness pays off for less than a week later, she’s asking lots of questions to a bemused Matt. And he answers just about each one before she is satisfied with it and eagerly drags him off to play tea party.  
   
It’s crazy that people soaked it up and believed in it. It’s crazier still that Matt is willing and patient and helpful to him to help maintain the facade, giving some made up information to give their ‘relationship’ some credibility. He’s doing all of this at the cost of being unable to pursue a date or have a meaningful relationship with another woman and he knows it.  
   
Guy really owes a lot for the singer. Owes a lot of meals for him.  
  
 

 

\-----

   
Half a dozen lunches and dinners from various restaurants and dining places later, on a Sunday afternoon Matt just tells him on the phone to come over to his place for a Sunday roast, having tired of eating out.  
   
He complies.  
   
One week and another event which Matt saved his hide later, Guy invites Matt over to his home for homemade pasta. Matt came over with a couple bottles of wine and store-bought garlic bread. He got a kiss as his reward for making good pasta.  
   
It shocked him, but he didn’t stop Matt. It was unexpected yet doesn’t leave him revolted. He tries to surmise that maybe it’s just a one-time thing.  
   
Since then, the meals that he owes to Matt are just a matter of whether he wants to dine out, have takeaways, or a home-cooked meal. Much to his disappointment, he still gets kisses for his effort, whether he likes it or not.  
  
 

 

\-----

   
It’s been two months since they’ve started this, but when he looks back at it, so much has happened. The longer the fake relationship goes, the more things had to change around them that they have to adjust to. If they didn’t said that their ‘relationship’ is a casual yet steady one, Guy thinks, it would’ve overwhelmed either one or the both of them.  
   
The reasons for maintaining the ‘relationship’ shifted when it is from avoiding Lindsay Lohan to biding their time until it’s the right time that they can call it off. But then time passed and it changed once more, and now it is to make sure that Nico never finds out that this isn’t real at all.  
   
Compared to how they act around other people, Nico is a five year old girl, and constantly by his side whenever she comes to stay over with him. Being under her watchful eyes meant that even at his own home, if the singer is present then he and Matt must act like a real couple in front of her.  
   
She likes having Matt around. A lot.  
   
Nico latched onto Matt like a house on fire ever since she found out that he and Matt are ‘dating’. If Joanna’s words were true when he asked her for an explanation on the sudden interest their daughter took to his relationship with Matt, in Nico’s eyes he must’ve looked awfully lonely these past few years to have his daughter not care whether he dates a woman or man.  
   
In Nico’s words, she wants Matt to stay with him because he “makes daddy happy, so I’m happy that you’re happy.”  
   
He had to power through the whole day with nothing but willpower and prayer after she said that, doing his absolute best to ignore the ever present pit of _guiltguiltguilt_ inside of him.  
   
Some nights, when she’s staying over with him, Nico asks for Matt to read her bedtime stories when he’s around. She does it even when he’s not there. Guy tries to explain it as a father gently can, that either he’s very busy or resting in his own home, but that gets her upset and cry, and that leads to Matt talking to Nico on the phone or driving up to his place to read her to sleep.  
   
Tonight, Matt arrived in time for dinner and for a very happy Nico. So that saves him from an imminent tantrum. Nico giggles at them when Matt kisses him for making a delicious dinner.  
   
When it was bedtime for Nico, Guy watches from the doorway as Matt reads to Nico _The BFG_ , the sight of the singer reciting the words from the story lulls his joyful daughter to sleep is quite… something.  
   
“You didn’t have to do it,” Guy tells him after making sure that Nico is long asleep.  
   
“I don’t mind,” Matt says with a smile. “I didn’t really want to disappoint your daughter there if I didn't turn up.”  
   
He presses a kiss to Guy’s cheek before he left.  
   
If the lump in his throat wasn’t there a while before, it now is.  
  
 

 

\-----

   
During the night, just a couple of hours after Halloween and being drunk in a Parisian hotel room, they fucked.  
   
It would’ve been a deniable event, if it weren’t for the incriminating evidence scattered around the room such as the trail of clothes from the door to the bed and the carelessly thrown used condom. And that despite being drunk, they remembered what they did that led to it.  
   
Waking up with a hangover and the foreknowledge of what they’ve done made the Scottish man wish that the earth opened up and swallowed him whole.  
   
He recalls the gig that they did last night in this theatre. Matt was there because of backstage access and he wanted to see them perform. And then back in the hotel room that they shared, they have bottles of red wine gifted to them and Matt said that it’s a waste to not drink it, and then… clothes just dropped and it’s the first time he’d seen Matt naked and vice versa for Matt.  
   
Then he opens his eyes and turns to see Matt, who looks at him as though they’re sharing the same expression on their faces.  
   
Contrary to what usually happens when a one night stand has occurred, they had a talk about it. After some explanations here and there, they both came to a conclusion and agreed to never speak of it.  
  
 

 

\-----

   
While Matt is busy recording with his bandmates for their sixth album, Guy is busy touring.  
   
Touring is hard and exhaustive, and at times leave him homesick and looking forward to a few days’ rest. He wouldn’t give it up for anything else.  
   
The thing that sucked for him is that while on tour, unlike recording, it meant being scheduled into interviews. Chris and Jonny do the bulk of the work in dealing with the media, but sometimes there are events that he has to attend as well. Thanks to the tabloids and internet gossip, attention has been put onto him, much to his displeasure.  
   
Most journalists and interviewers that they met who have enough professionalism know to refrain from asking about his relationship with Matt, something that is deemed far too personal to be asked about. Some of them that do ask, however, Guy chooses to not say much. It wasn’t meant to be asked about without explicit permission anyways.  
   
Whenever he has the time for it, he texts and calls Matt to keep up to date on certain matters.  
   
What they talk about depends on the subject of matter at hand. Sometimes it’s about certain things that needed to be updated for their ‘relationship’ act. Sometimes Guy needs a refresher of what he is supposed to remember that they do in their ‘relationship’. Sometimes they just talk about what they’re doing or where they are. Sometimes it’s just Matt asking how Nico is and to tell her he said hi.  
   
Their constant contact inadvertently made others think that he’s serious with Matt, so they give him knowing looks and smirks whenever he’s on the phone. Somehow they figured out whenever he’s texting or talking to Matt just by how he checks and looks at his phone.  
   
Despite it, this is one part of the charade that he’s thankful for. They don’t bother him so much, leaving him space to not worry about anything for another day and hearing Matt talk about the current pace of their recording sessions.  
  
 

 

\-----

   
During the night around when Christmas ended and Boxing Day starts, they fucked.  
   
It would’ve been a deniable event, if again, there weren’t incriminating evidence of what they’ve done last night scattered around the room. The trail of clothes and a used condom inside an empty bin.  
   
Guy wakes up to find himself in Matt’s London flat wearing a Santa hat that somehow never slipped off his head during the night. The look that they shared with one another only serves to remind them what they did a couple months ago back in Paris.  
   
They have a talk about it through brunch and they agreed to never to speak of what they’ve done for the second time around.  
  
 

 

\-----

   
Things just snowballed to the point that six months into what they started by accident, Matt jokes to him that if he has the time for it, he can use what they’ve been doing to be able to pursue an acting career as a hobby.  
   
Speaking of acting, it’s been something that they’ve done for six months. Half a year has gone by, and their friends and family and even those who paid attention to celebrity gossip are none the wiser. Either they are genuine okay about how they feel about them dating, or their acting skills are very impressive.  
   
They even snogged and touched each other, as practice. It was justifiable since whenever there’s a social event either he or Matt gets invited to, there’s tickets for the two of them. They have to look comfortable in each other’s presence.  
   
Even Nico stares at the two of them whenever they did it, which weirds him out because it feels as though she wants to be sure about them loving each other.  
   
Well, now that Guy thinks about it, after some time has passed it should no longer be counted as practice. They are already long used to it. The sudden kisses that Matt gives to him from time to time has lost its shock value after being subjected to it for a few months.  
   
They practiced and learned to the point that the small touches and kisses that they shared were done unconsciously rather than leaving either one of them shocked. They weren’t done out of necessity, but rather because they wanted to. There’s nothing wrong in Guy’s opinion if he enjoys it.  
   
Practice and learn. Those two words used, over and over. It sounds more like an excuse to explain what they’re doing is anything but what they’re truly doing.  
   
When he thinks even further, he finds that he doesn’t actually mind spending time with Matt. If he counts the number of times Matt has come to his home and to places that he is going to, maybe Matt doesn’t mind spending time to hang out with him as well.  
   
A loud ringing sound from his phone then reminds him that he’s supposed to pick Matt up to go for a dinner with his family.  
   
Another day, another act to go through.  
  
 

 

\-----

   
It’s Monday and Miss Joyce told the whole class that they’re going to make Valentine’s Day cards to give to their parents tomorrow.  
   
While most of the other students make one or two cards, Nico makes several. One for mommy, one for daddy, and one that is put on the wall in her room.  
   
It used to make her sad on how mommy and daddy don’t want to and can’t be together. While she now understands that some children have situations like hers as well (some don’t even _have_ mommies or daddies, much to her shock), it doesn’t stop the envy in her eyes whenever she looked at her other friends and classmates and see how their mommies and daddies are so happy together and love each other.  
   
Mommy and daddy have never stopped telling her that even though they don’t love each other anymore, what matters above all is that they both love her.  
   
Mommy found a really, really nice friend that she likes that she says is her boyfriend. He’s there since she was two, but he’s nice to her as well and always tells her that he won’t replace her daddy, so that’s good. What made her upset, however, was that while mommy has found someone to love, daddy didn’t.  
   
She used to make drawings of herself holding mommy and daddy’s hand on each side before drawing and colouring in more people. Mommy’s side has her boyfriend holding her hand as well, while Daddy has… no one.  
   
But this year is different! This year daddy can celebrate Valentine’s Day with Uncle Matty!  
   
Uncle Matty is the _best thing_ to have ever happened to her Daddy because it means a lots of good things.  
   
First and most important, daddy is no longer alone. He has a boyfriend, just like mommy. There’s nothing weird about it because mommy told her before that boys can like boys as well as girls can like girls. Daddy and Uncle Matty aren’t weird as well for being able to like both men and women.  
   
She loves going to daddy’s house because it means Uncle Matty is there and he’s happy to see her as well. He plays with her and joins with her and daddy to watch Disney movies. When it’s bedtime, Uncle Matty reads big storybooks to her that have _chapters_ in them that are supposed to be for older children above her age. Yet she loves the big storybooks, and he never forgets which chapter that he’s supposed to read to her next. They have finished on _The BFG_ just a few weeks ago and are now a few chapters into _Matilda_.  
   
And the most, most, _most_ important of all, Uncle Matty and daddy make each other happy. She knows it because she always sees them hug and kiss each other just like mommy and her boyfriend does it.  
   
Today, much to Nico’s delight, mommy said that because she will be busy the whole day daddy will be the one to pick her up after school, so she’s going to make a special one that daddy has to give to Uncle Matty. He has to.  
   
The card she is making for them needs lots and lots of effort put into it. Nico draws the two of them holding hands in a field of flowers with hearts coloured around them. Both daddy and Uncle Matty are wearing striped jumpers, but she makes sure that they can tell each other apart.  
   
Her daddy has brown eyes, while Uncle Matty has blue ones. Daddy’s jumper is red and pink, Uncle Matty’s is purple and blue. Daddy has a beard while Uncle Matty has whiskers around his mouth. She even writes ‘Daddy’ and ‘Uncle Matty’ above them with arrows pointing down to make sure that they know who is who in the card.  
   
By the time class is over, she’s all done and has three cards in her hands. One for mommy, one for daddy, and one for herself. The one that she made for herself shows from left to right are mommy’s boyfriend, mommy, herself, daddy, and daddy’s boyfriend.  
   
She spots him standing by the gate and she eagerly takes off in a run towards him. She can’t wait to show him the card she made for him and Uncle Matty!  
  
 

 

\-----

   
When Guy came over to his flat, he came bearing a handmade Valentine’s Day card. The kind that looks like how a small child would draw and decorate it.  
   
“Nico wanted me to give this to you,” Guy says.  
   
“Wanted?” Matt raised an eyebrow.  
   
“Demanded is the more accurate word.”  
   
Matt hums in response, holding and looking at the card with interest. The corners of his lips quirked up into a grin.  
   
“Is it only from her or from the both of you?” he asks.  
   
“Well, she made it and gave it to me before she told me that I have to be the one to give it to you on this day. So I guess it counts as both Nico and I giving it to you.”  
   
Later that night, Matt pins the card to the fridge with a magnet, unable to stop smiling at the sight of it.  
  
 

 

\-----

   
On an early morning of Shrove Tuesday, Guy woke up to a screaming Nico jumping onto him excitedly telling him about how Uncle Matt is here to make pancakes with them.  
   
“Lots and lots of pancakes, daddy!”  
   
Guy later finds himself at the kitchen, staring blankly at Matt and Nico as they mixed the pancake batter while nursing a strong mug of coffee in his hands and trying to figure out what the hell just happened.  
   
It’s Shrove Tuesday, and Guy didn’t recall asking Matt to come over so early in the morning and make pancakes with them in the first place. He suspects who might have done it, even a child can work out on how a smartphone works, but he decides to let it slide.  
  
 

 

\-----

   
On a calm night in mid-March, for the third time, they fucked.  
   
This time around they weren’t drunk. Their clothes are on a pile near the bed, there’s a couple of used condoms in the trash bin, and they’re still making out before fatigue put them to sleep.  
   
When Guy wakes up to see Matt, the look that they shared is not the same as the first and second time that they’ve done this.  
   
They have a couple of talks, one from last night and one when they woke up. They agreed that with the months spent together and barely any contact with hot women for a casual hook-up, there’s nothing wrong with having sex with each other if it means giving themselves some sexual release and relieve.  
  
 

 

\-----

   
Touring around doesn’t give Guy much time to think about it. When there is time, he uses it well to think about it. To think about what this whole ‘relationship’ means to him, to Matt, to Nico, and to others around him.  
   
To his friends and family, the ones that mattered to him the most, they’re all so happy for him. Happy that he’d found someone to share his life with. Even fans from both bands are fully supportive of it. It all only acts as a reminder with guilt and shame of how he is deceiving them all.  
   
Then there is him and Matt. Before the incident, they didn’t knew each other that well, truth be told. Over the years, they’re mates at best and acquaintances at least. Although they barely knew one another, he didn’t hesitate to help him at all.  
   
In fact, Matt took all this in stride and called him a friend like they’ve done this before and can get out of this.  
   
Matt doesn’t deserve the blame for all this. He didn’t have to dedicate his time and effort to help him this far in the line. It was all Guy’s fault for that spur of the moment idea. Yet Matt never blamed him whenever he mentions it to him. In Matt’s words, he prefers to think that it’s Lindsay Lohan’s fault for putting them in a situation that they’re making the best out of.  
   
He tried to rebuke him on such a statement, but logically, Matt is correct as well. The actress _did_ pushed Guy into a corner and forced his hand into drastic actions.  
   
The most important matter to Guy is the question of what they are doing. It’s hard to tell it apart on what they’ve been doing lately. What counts as pretending and what counts as genuine at this point?  
  
 

 

\-----

   
“Isn’t your anniversary coming up?” Chris asks him one day, out of the blue. They’re in Seattle right now, as the schedule points out. Seattle meant great coffee. Free time meant that they’re in some high end coffee shop having great coffee before they have to go and rehearse.  
   
“What?” Guy pauses, the cup of espresso that was supposed to reach his lips is now held in mid-air.  
   
“Your first anniversary with Matt! It’s in May, isn’t it?” Chris inquires. Why would Chris bothered to remember something like this?  
   
“It’s just been one year,” Guy says derisively, not wanting to correct Chris that it’s more accurately in August, less than four months away. One year doesn’t seem like such a big deal to him. But Chris thinks otherwise.  
   
“But it’s a milestone at the same time!” Chris exclaims. “The two of you should celebrate for this!”  
   
Guy takes a sip of his espresso, appearing to be in thought and trying to comprehend this. It’s normal for a guy to remember their own anniversaries, especially when they’re married. Not many remember other people’s anniversary dates, much less bother to. So why would Chris remember when he and Matt allegedly got together, even deem such an event to be so important?  
   
“Why does it have to be so important?” Guy asks noncommittally.  
   
“You and Matt look pretty serious for your relationship, so I thought you would take the date of your anniversary seriously,” Chris says. “I’ve never seen you this happy ever since the divorce.”  
   
The mention of the word ‘divorce’ makes Guy grimaced, feeling his chest tighten. They don’t mention his divorce that much. It’s been a few years now. He and Joanna have an intact friendship and connection because of their daughter. But from the way it feels like something is stabbing into his chest, it’s still not a topic that he likes to go through.  
   
And what did Chris meant by having not seen him being this happy for years?  
   
Noticing that Chris had shut up after saying the word and seeing how he’d reacted, Guy does his best to appear as though he is less affected by it than he is.  
   
“I’m over it. I’ve been happy and fine since then,” Guy assures the singer.  
   
Chris looks at him for some time, as if gauging on his mood and what to say to him.  
   
“There’s variations of what type of happiness that there is. But what matters is having someone to experience it with you. You didn’t have that someone by your side to share that happiness until you met Matt,” Chris says. “With how long the two of you have been together, I think you finally have someone by your side to share the fruits of your labour with.”  
   
The only response that Guy can do is be stunned. Sometimes when you’re used to seeing how your best friend is usually like, it can be surprising to receive a side of them that shows a lot more maturity and wisdom than what you have expected. Jokes and daft words aside, Chris can be pretty damn perceptive when he needs to be.  
   
He can’t shake off on what Chris had said. Is Chris right in his words? Has he really been happier than ever before ever since he got together with Matt?  
   
Yet, no matter how much he has enjoyed his time with Matt, he has to remind himself that all that has happened and what they’re doing is just part of the act, that it’s only temporary. Sooner or later, the attention on them will cool down and they will have to part ways once it is all clear.  
   
God, how will he explain to an upset Nico on why he broke up with Matt just like that?  
   
“So what do you think your anniversary celebration should be like?” Chris asks, pulling Guy out of his thoughts. He has seemingly decided to change the subject of the conversation back to the original matter. Guy is fine with that. In fact, he’s thankful for it for he didn’t want to brood on what to say with a hypothetical breakup.  
   
“Matt told me that he’ll handle it. I’m sure it’ll be something we’ll both enjoy,” Guy lied. He _hopes_ that Matt does remember and can handle this.  
   
Fortunately Matt did remembered. It isn’t a significant celebration. They celebrated at Matt’s flat, just talking and pillaging Matt’s wine cabinet down. All Guy remembers is getting drunk on wine, kissing Matt while swapping wine in their mouths, giving Matt a blowjob before he fucked him.  
   
That is how they celebrated with their ‘first year anniversary’. It was an enjoyable one.  
  
 

 

\-----

   
It was in Canada, two weeks before their real first year anniversary that it struck him on why he’s doing this ‘relationship’, on why he followed through with Matt’s crazy plan and kept on with it willingly.  
   
All that time spent convinced that it’s just a temporary thing and can break it off at the right time. But it isn’t. Matt is now a large part of his life as much as the band and his daughter are.  
   
All that time spent convinced that it was for the sake of keeping a certain image that he believed wouldn’t fit him. But it does fit him. He has grown to have fit into it.  
   
And it’s only now that he realised it, of all the time and place, while playing in a sold out arena show. It all happened just because while they’re playing ‘The Scientist’, he thought about what happens if one of them requested to end what they have been doing for nearly a year before the revelation hits him.  
   
He thinks about it and then… he just really couldn’t. Without Matt, he can’t imagine his life going back to the way it was before. No comfort of his presence, no kisses or physical touches, no calls of ‘Uncle Matty’ from Nico.  
   
He feels very, very stupid to have ignored this for so long.  
   
If his best friends, his family, his ex-wife, and even his daughter can see them and believe that they’re meant to be together despite deceiving them, can Matt see it as well?  
  
 

 

\-----

   
It’s August 18th, exactly one year and two weeks into their made up relationship. He and Matt are in his flat, watching a billiards tournament game on the television together when he pops the question.  
   
“Do you regret what you had to do help me?”  
   
Matt eyes break away from the screen to look at him, perplexed.  
   
“Why would I be?” he asks carefully.  
   
“It’s my fault that I put you into this,” Guy says, repeating what he said that had spread throughout the span of a year. But as time passes, the self-blame isn’t as emphasized as it used to be. Now it’s something that he says to acknowledge what he’d done.  
   
As he expected with what he had said, Matt was going to interrupt him when he puts his hand up to stop him.  
   
“Hear me out for a moment here please, Matt.”  
   
Matt goes quiet, now looking at Guy intently instead of focussing his attention on the tournament show. Guy takes a deep breath. Well, here goes nothing.  
   
“You helped me a lot this past year, Matt. You agreed to my desperate idea to kiss you to get rid of Lindsay Lohan. You helped set up a well-detailed planner on this pretend relationship that worked really well. You made Nico happy. You did all of this. You didn’t have to do it if we just said something easily deniable back then. And all you told me is that I owe you lot of lunch and dinner dates.” _And sex_ , he didn’t add to the final sentence.  
   
Guy sits up straighter before he asks, “Matt, I want to know what you think. Are you doing all this to keep on with it as a long charade as we’d planned a year ago, or are you continuing on doing this because you wanted to?”  
   
The question seems to have shocked Matt. Maybe he didn’t anticipate for such a time to come. Or maybe he did. It doesn’t matter now that they’ve arrived at the crossroads and must decide their next path, figuratively speaking.  
   
They know what lies ahead of them, but Guy wants to know what Matt will say about this.  
   
“I can’t say that you’re wrong. We could’ve easily blown it off right after and have a laugh at it,” Matt chuckles before it dies down and he gives a faint smile. “But we didn’t. Then everyone else got involved. I guess what I wanted to say that what happened was unexpected, and the plan had to be adjusted or changed, but after that… I didn’t mind continuing with what we’re doing since I genuinely enjoyed spending time with you and Nico.  
   
“To be honest with you, all that talk about making this all a charade and to pretend sounded more and more like something superficial to me the longer this went on,” Matt says. “It made me wonder at times on how long did you want this to go on as it is or change it.”  
   
Guy slips his hand with Matt’s. When he grips on it, Matt grips back. That’s a positive sign.  
   
“If you had been the one to put the question that I asked to you, I would’ve said the same thing as well,” Guy confesses. “All that has happened to the both of us? I... don’t really want this all to stop. I love it. I couldn’t imagine what it would be like if we ended this.”  
   
Matt’s grip tightens for a bit, murmuring, “Me neither.”  
   
That’s an even better positive sign.  
   
He wanted to know if Matt had similar thoughts as he did, about what to do now that they have gone this long into this ‘relationship’ of theirs. If Matt doesn’t want to continue on and wants to break it off… It would’ve hurt, but it is Matt’s choice at the end of the day and he respects that.  
   
But now that Matt’s answer confirms that he wants it as well, in Guy’s heart he promises to himself and to Matt that he’s going to do better. They both deserve better.  
   
Brown eyes stare at blue ones. They aren’t too old to say ‘I love you’, but it’s something that needs not to be said right now. There’s just one more question to ask for clarifications.  
   
“Do you rather still want this relationship be a pretending one or let it be real?”  
   
Matt smiles toothily. “I want it to be real. The question is do _you_?”  
   
“I want it to be real,” Guy answers, sealing his words with a kiss.  
   
It became official, as simple as that.  
  
 

 

\-----

   
Matt likes to say that they celebrate their anniversary like the Queen’s birthday. This is true because much like the Queen’s birthdays, they have two dates in which to celebrate it. There is an official one in mid-May and the actual one in early August.  
   
Another year has passed and it’s now the middle of May. They’re going to celebrate their official second anniversary in a low key manner, just a table for two reserved at their restaurant of choice. They already have plans for August as well. As part of their actual anniversary plan, he’ll be joining Matt in Muse’s trip for their Japan and South Korea shows.  
   
Currently, Guy is sitting on the bed and waiting for Matt to finish getting dressed up before leaving for dinner.  
   
The problem, as Matt eloquently told him before, is that it takes time for him to prepare and look good while Guy could just let his hair be messy, wear the tightest T-shirt and a pair of ripped jeans into a formal restaurant and they’ll still let him through.  
   
He’s not doing that (because that’s abusing the rules by exception, as he likes to say in response) even if Matt has told several times over on how sexy that makes him look.  
   
They discussed about whether or not to reveal that their relationship was fake before it turned real. After several debates, they decided that since the act didn’t hurt anybody and how much of a complicated mess telling the truth will cause it is better off to let it remain as a secret between themselves.  
   
They no longer need to tell fabricated stories anymore. They have at least two years’ worth of stories to bring up, all of them real actual events that have happened even while under a masquerade act of being together.  
   
If anyone asks them for the truth, however, no one would believe it if they say that they should both blame and thank Lindsay Lohan for putting them together. That, and they would be laughing too hard to be able to tell the story.  
   
They’ve gone through quite an unexpected journey together and the outcome is unforgettable. People often quote that life itself is an unknown journey in itself.  
   
Matt comes out of the walk-in-wardrobe, wearing a blue button up shirt to go with his grey jacket and trousers.  
   
“How do I look?” he asks.  
   
Guy can think of one word that fits what he sees.  
   
“Gorgeous,” Guy says, standing up and giving a peck to Matt’s lips.  
   
“You don’t look half bad either,” Matt purrs, eyes roving up and down at the casual look that Guy opted for. The Scottish man always did look good in cardigans.  
   
“Ready to go?”  
   
“Yeah.”  
  
In Guy’s opinion, it is unexpected, amazing and he wouldn’t have it in any other way.  
  
  
END


End file.
